Q&A: My jerk Parent makes me sleep alone, but they don't. Why the injustice?

Question: My Parent is always going on and on about how I should sleep in my own bed- but that jerk gets to sleep with my other parent. Why should I have to sleep alone when they don’t?

Answer: Have you ever noticed how your parent’s bed is bigger than yours? That’s because Parents are dangerous, territorial sleepers. Even though they often share a bed, they almost never sleep together, but instead stay on their own sides. Crossing into a co-parent’s territory can lead to kicking, hissing and whining. Sleeping in your own bed is a great way to stay safe. If you really want to sleep with your parents, we recommend either sleeping directly next to, or ON, a parent. This will inhibit their ability to lash out. If you’re too hot, or if your parent smells bad, an alternate option is to create a zone of safety around you. Get into the center of the bed and then slowly push out. You can use your arms, legs, toes nails, it’s your choice, to accomplish it. Good luck, and stay safe.